Getting My First Tattoo

June of this year (2018) was kind of a big deal for me; I crossed off a major item on my bucket list, joined the California masses, and got my very first tattoo!


I’ve known since I was twelve or thirteen that I wanted quite a few tattoos, but like most ‘virgin canvases,’ I wasn’t ready to get my first tattoo until I had done tons of research, browsed the Pinterest ‘tattoo’ section for countless hours, and wouldn’t let a needle go anywhere near my skin without having the exact perfect design that was special and meant a lot to me.

Of course, I knew I wanted my first tattoo to be about my passion for writing, since that’s the most important thing to me in my personal life, but for SO LONG I just couldn’t narrow down the exact design I wanted. I thought about a feather quill and ink pot, just a plain, old-fashioned ink pen, some sort of poem, a stack of books, or some sort of depiction of Calliope (Greek muse of poetry). For awhile I just said “F*ck it!” and figured I was never going to get a tattoo solely based on the fact that I clearly was too indecisive and picky to ever know what I truly wanted.

    But then… I saw this image, and everything in my mind finally clicked:

This is the 3 of Swords card from what is considered to be the ‘original’ Tarot deck. It is said to be a symbol of heartbreak; the swords represent how some knowledge can cause us physical and emotional harm, and the image suggests heartbreak, sacrifice, or an emotionally troubling time in one’s life. Upon seeing and learning about this image, my first initial thought was ‘It would be pretty cool if those were pens instead of swords…” and suddenly, I knew exactly what I wanted my tattoo to be!

I quickly sketched out the design, and through looking at it, I realized it held even more meaning to me than I originally thought; it still represented the frustration, anger, and sadness I had felt in my life as I’ve had to struggle with accepting my bipolar disorder.

But now as pens instead of of swords, they represented the ink flowing through my veins; writing is part of my physical, mental, and spiritual being. It represents how discovering my passion for writing pierced through the darkness of mental illness and helped me to see the beauty of my work, even through the struggles of my disorder.

Please help to spread my story, and share this post on Facebook, Tumblr, and anywhere else you may fancy! Do you have any tattoos or other body modifications? If so, please tell me about it as I’d love to see! Until next time,


3 thoughts on “Getting My First Tattoo

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  1. That is an amazing tattoo! I love that you went with an anatomical heart, a realness to represent the realness of your struggle and passion. That the pens are left plain seems to represent a beginning, something that hasn’t fully formed but is developing. For a first tattoo, you surely did your research – looks great.


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